In The Garden
Posted on January 23, 2010 with 0 comments
The Southern California storms have finally moved out after a week of rampage. The desert was ravaged by flash floods. The roads in a tangled mess of dirt and debris. I’ve been rolling around for the last couple weeks with my girl who flew out from Chicago. I haven’t been in such a close proximity relationship for quite sometime. Been living semi alone like some vague sex starved recluse, on and off for a few years. Working a day job to financially support the music job. Chasing the muse and trying to be involved with my daughter that I give money towards and attempt to help raise. I am, in all likelihood, I poor remodel and more of a “fun and games” daddy figure. I do pay my child support though. And I buy the new school shoes. I can’t be all that bad. I keep telling myself that. The problem is I keep trying to believe it. What I’m really getting at is time. If asked what you would want more of, I think everyone in the civilized world would say … money! Unless you’re a United States Republican or the son of a Bush. Then it might be war and oil. But those things are just slang for … money! If I could have more of anything it would be, time. Time I tell you! Not just more minutes to be idle and relaxed. I mean time to do the things that you decided you were put on this planet to do. Those things you want to do and all those moments to devote to the people you desire to devote it to. I spend the most time with people that mean the least to me doing the things I don’t truly love and don’t define myself by. Relationships are damn hard to. Because they are feed and watered by time. They are measured in moments. Both in the past and present. Even the future. It’s a tricky game. People get away from you. They are as slippery as bull frogs slathered in pond water. If they are not feed enough with your time they grow restless and fancy free. Attention is a time term in the relationship paradox. Quality versus quantity is also a factor. This shit is tough people. No wonder the great majority of relationships fail. Perhaps if your not good at equations and your algebra scores were low in school you might never figure this relationship stuff out. Someone should event the “relationship calculator” for all of us that are mathematically impaired. Level the god damn playing field. I’m not just referring to love relationships. All types of relationships work in the same capacity. Family, work, friendship … just to name a few. They all require the same components. The give and the take. The time and the proper temperature. It’s a pain in the big ass booty, but, necessary. Because, like the gift of time, people are more precious then things. Yet, we rarely treat people with the same care and respect as we do our “things.” Take care to wash the car but not the baby. Dream of the latest cell phone model but not a profound conversation with a friend. In the end, all that remains are people and the moments spent with them. This includes even ourselves and the quality time we sat down inside our own skulls and just dug hanging with the ego and the id and the imagination. I can feel my girlfriend growing restless in the other room as I type away at this. She needs some of my time. I am happy to give it to her. I can also feel the restlessness from far away. An energy that floats back to me from the bouncing life force of the Universe. From you, dear reader, who has perhaps wondered when the fuck I was going to place another passage onto this “page o’ blog.” I am mucho happy to be able to devote some of my time towards you. So here it is! I had a dream the other night that I was sitting in a dark room in a chair I could not see but could only feel around my ass checks. I could hear a tolling bell chime loudly every 15 seconds. This went on for awhile. At last the darkness lifted and became a hot white light. I could see a mirror floating in front of me. When I stared into it I could see nothing but the empty chair. The chair was made of cherry wood colored bones and horse hair twine. In it sat a solitary orange fortune cookie. I lifted the cookie from the chair. I cracked it open. The fortune inside read: “Beware of becoming to much to many. They are hungry for your time and they will chew you apart.” I guess I was feeling a bit hungry because I ate the cookie. It tasted pretty good. I tried to slip the fortune into my pocket, but suddenly realized I was standing stark naked in the garden. I felt the omnipresence of God. And I could hear him laughing.