Let’s start off with a big fancy word today kids … bonhomous. Something to fool the shit out of my computers spell check. That’s what I thought you dirty machine! You’ve boldly underlined it red! Not a clue my cold mechanical buddy? Well let me tell you. It’s a term that describes someone with a pleasant and or affable disposition. One could coin the big guy in the red suit, that must likely laid waist to the brick work inside your chimney as he squeezed his fat ass down it last night, as bonhomous. Right! Wrong?
Well, it’s Christmas morning and there is not a single present in my house. There is no tell tale signs that anyone tried to jimmy the lock on the front door. All the windows are still shut and there is no deer shit on my roof. Being that I’m not a Muslim or a J.W., I can only assume that I was bad again this year. Bummer. No red tricycle for Shawney. Perhaps you shouldn’t drink so much and beat your dog. Lesson learned.
I remember, [...]
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I woke up this morning with a terrible hangover. Not of the nature of booze and narcotics. But something far, far worse. In fact, I am about ready to douse the lethargic shadows from my skull with cold, cold water. And I thank fucking God for spell check at this moment because I’m butchering the English language in my dull state of dizzy torpidity. Hold on … Oh fuck! That’s better! Nothing like wet hair in the winter. I was out late last night shopping for Christmas presents. Final Saturday before the big one. The Grand Poobah of all the western influenced holidays. The big dollar sign in the sky for the consumer calendar. Is that Santa in his sleigh streaming high above the shopping mall? Or just the JcPenny red tag sale banner shot high up the pole! Where the fuck did this myth get so twisted and out of sorts. I thought the big guy in the red suit was supposed to bring all the good girlies and boys the goods! Since when did it become our responsibility to go buy [...]
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